I feel like my husband expects me to only be a cook and cleaner to compensate for his insecurities toward women. How can he become more secure and a better man?
The man is the head but IS NOT the dictator; both women and men have the equal authority. Male and female were made together i.e. “He created them”. God created both male and female at once, the wo-man (or, man with a womb) was just taken from a man. Adam arrived first but he already had Eve in him. To leave insecurities behind we have to search the scriptures. Even in ministry, my own wife and I are equals, and if she hears something in the spirit, it is not discounted. If you have insecurities you have to use the Word and allow it to transform your mind.

My wife is not being a help-meet to me, do you know a reason why?
If you are married your wife is designed to be favor for you – she should be a help-meet and not a hindrance. A wife should also know she brings the favor into your life. Women are designed to help but if things are twisted, she can become a hindrance. A woman has that power. For a woman to not be in position to help or to be lazy, she is fighting against herself because she has a specific anointing in her to help so she is actively fighting against that.

Q: Dr. Pettis how do you deal with someone who never wants to confront problems or brush things under the rug?

A: By nature we would all like life to be perfect; but when a person does not want to confront something its fear in the midst; confrontation does not have to be a bad thing. With confrontation there is correction, and confrontation is a good thing, without confronting a person can continue on a downward spiral. In any relationship a person may not want to confront their issues from fear of losing the person. Some people would rather stay in denial or put things on the shelf from fear.  We have to change our perception of confrontation; confrontation will help strengthen any relationship.

Q: Dr. Pettis, what is it the one thing you wish every church member would do?

A: In short, I wish every member would simply do… their… part. The Bible says “Obedience is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22) and many tend to sacrifice because others aren’t obedient. When everyone does their part, it makes it easier on the entire group.

Dr. Pettis. have you ever dealt with insecurity in ministry?

Absolutely, insecurities come with something new or when you are not sure. I came from a Baptist denomination and I was never a good “hooper”, which is a popular preaching style in the Baptist church. My voice was not really equipped for “hooping” but I made it my own. Also, I had insecurities when I took over as Pastor when it came to actually teaching the ministry. Since my father was a great teacher, I knew the importance of it but I avoided it out of insecurity. But today, teaching is my greatest strength. You cannot grow a ministry up in maturity with preaching alone; you have to teach them.

Dr. Pettis, when does a woman’s “helping anointing” become a hindrance when the man does not want to be helped?

As an anointing from God, women are designed to help. But only when there is a vision – not to help foolishness because at that point she is an enabler. She has to use her wisdom to not help or put her energy somewhere that is not beneficial. At that point it is up to her to move from a relationship where her help is not desired.

I enjoy my mate but I really enjoy my alone time as well. How important is it for couples to do things together? 

It is important for couples to do things together to strengthen and build a relationship; this also promotes growth in the relationship.  When you learn new things together, it is exciting and promotes commonality and talking points. You will learn to enjoy each other and do things together. On the flip side, constantly doing things alone can lead to your partner getting used to doing things without you or being used to experiencing new things without you. This can lead to single-like behavior.

I desire to live a healthy lifestyle. What can you suggest to help?

This should be a long-term goal and not just for the warmer seasons or for a special event. You should also meditate on health scriptures such as ones talking about your youth and health being renewed (Psalm 103:5) or the 120 year life span scripture (Genesis 6:3). Moses was a good example; when he died, his eyes were not dim and his natural forces were not abated. When you with meditate on the scripture, it will produce an inner image on the inside of you. It will draw you to a healthier lifestyle and lead you to making healthier choices.