I feel like my husband expects me to only be a cook and cleaner to compensate for his insecurities toward women. How can he become more secure and a better man?
The man is the head but IS NOT the dictator; both women and men have the equal authority. Male and female were made together i.e. “He created them”. God created both male and female at once, the wo-man (or, man with a womb) was just taken from a man. Adam arrived first but he already had Eve in him. To leave insecurities behind we have to search the scriptures. Even in ministry, my own wife and I are equals, and if she hears something in the spirit, it is not discounted. If you have insecurities you have to use the Word and allow it to transform your mind.

My wife is not being a help-meet to me, do you know a reason why?
If you are married your wife is designed to be favor for you – she should be a help-meet and not a hindrance. A wife should also know she brings the favor into your life. Women are designed to help but if things are twisted, she can become a hindrance. A woman has that power. For a woman to not be in position to help or to be lazy, she is fighting against herself because she has a specific anointing in her to help so she is actively fighting against that.