Blog

31 Jan
0

Insecure Husband | Hindering Wife

I feel like my husband expects me to only be a cook and cleaner to compensate for his insecurities toward women. How can he become more secure and a better man?
The man is the head but IS NOT the dictator; both women and men have the equal authority. Male and female were made together i.e. “He created them”. God created both male and female at once, the wo-man (or, man with a womb) was just taken from a man. Adam arrived first but he already had Eve in him. To leave insecurities behind we have to search the scriptures. Even in ministry, my own wife and I are equals, and if she hears something in the spirit, it is not discounted. If you have insecurities you have to use the Word and allow it to transform your mind.

My wife is not being a help-meet to me, do you know a reason why?
If you are married your wife is designed to be favor for you – she should be a help-meet and not a hindrance. A wife should also know she brings the favor into your life. Women are designed to help but if things are twisted, she can become a hindrance. A woman has that power. For a woman to not be in position to help or to be lazy, she is fighting against herself because she has a specific anointing in her to help so she is actively fighting against that.

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17 Dec
0

Brush problems under the rug | ONE wish for church members

 

Q: Dr. Pettis how do you deal with someone who never wants to confront problems or brush things under the rug?

A: By nature we would all like life to be perfect; but when a person does not want to confront something its fear in the midst; confrontation does not have to be a bad thing. With confrontation there is correction, and confrontation is a good thing, without confronting a person can continue on a downward spiral. In any relationship a person may not want to confront their issues from fear of losing the person. Some people would rather stay in denial or put things on the shelf from fear.  We have to change our perception of confrontation; confrontation will help strengthen any relationship.

Q: Dr. Pettis, what is it the one thing you wish every church member would do?

A: In short, I wish every member would simply do… their… part. The Bible says “Obedience is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22) and many tend to sacrifice because others aren’t obedient. When everyone does their part, it makes it easier on the entire group.

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09 Dec
0

Insecurity in ministry | A helping hindrance

Dr. Pettis. have you ever dealt with insecurity in ministry?

Absolutely, insecurities come with something new or when you are not sure. I came from a Baptist denomination and I was never a good “hooper”, which is a popular preaching style in the Baptist church. My voice was not really equipped for “hooping” but I made it my own. Also, I had insecurities when I took over as Pastor when it came to actually teaching the ministry. Since my father was a great teacher, I knew the importance of it but I avoided it out of insecurity. But today, teaching is my greatest strength. You cannot grow a ministry up in maturity with preaching alone; you have to teach them.

Dr. Pettis, when does a woman’s “helping anointing” become a hindrance when the man does not want to be helped?

As an anointing from God, women are designed to help. But only when there is a vision – not to help foolishness because at that point she is an enabler. She has to use her wisdom to not help or put her energy somewhere that is not beneficial. At that point it is up to her to move from a relationship where her help is not desired.

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17 Sep
0

“Me time” in a relationship | Healthy lifestyle

I enjoy my mate but I really enjoy my alone time as well. How important is it for couples to do things together? 

It is important for couples to do things together to strengthen and build a relationship; this also promotes growth in the relationship.  When you learn new things together, it is exciting and promotes commonality and talking points. You will learn to enjoy each other and do things together. On the flip side, constantly doing things alone can lead to your partner getting used to doing things without you or being used to experiencing new things without you. This can lead to single-like behavior.

I desire to live a healthy lifestyle. What can you suggest to help?

This should be a long-term goal and not just for the warmer seasons or for a special event. You should also meditate on health scriptures such as ones talking about your youth and health being renewed (Psalm 103:5) or the 120 year life span scripture (Genesis 6:3). Moses was a good example; when he died, his eyes were not dim and his natural forces were not abated. When you with meditate on the scripture, it will produce an inner image on the inside of you. It will draw you to a healthier lifestyle and lead you to making healthier choices.

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02 Sep
0

Meditation: The Missing Method to Make Your Way

God put on my heart to remind His people about the importance of meditation. Some of you may already know or have heard about it, but some may not know how important meditating on the Word of God is. I’m reminded of Hosea 4:6 “My people have been cut off for lack of knowledge” (YLT). If you don’t understand how vital mediation is to your Christian growth, you can easily be cut off from what God has promised you. For those that do know, we must be careful to avoid what Hebrews 2:1 said and let it slip.

Without meditation, you cannot grow in the things of God and you won’t see manifestations in your life – whether it be healing, deliverance, breakthrough or prosperity. Meditation is something that must be done on purpose. Unfortunately, we still have a lot of Christians waiting for the Lord to do something. I say it all the time “we’re not waiting on God. God is waiting on us.”

What Does Meditation Do?

Meditation is what transforms your belief. What seemed impossible yesterday seems possible today and what was an obstacle is now an opportunity. Biblical meditation elevates your thinking to reflect the way God thinks and see the way God sees.

Meditation produces and inner programming or inner image on the inside of you. Meditating on the Word of God allows you to change any situation by focusing on what’s in your believing system instead of yielding to what’s going on around you. It’s a spiritual experience, changing how you believe, see and view things and an experience that will raise your level of revelation despite the information available. There is a huge difference between revelation and information. Revelation supersedes, or goes beyond, information. No matter your age, education level or how well you speak, you can receive revelation through meditation

Revelation operates on a higher level than education and information and can give you an answer within 24 hours that information couldn’t give you in a lifetime. There was a scientist named George Washington Carver who discovered hundreds of uses of the peanut and other crops. Carver was a Christian and spent his early mornings with God meditating before going to his laboratory, and God downloaded the revelation for him to discover all those creations.

Joshua 1:8 says “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” This verse tells us several things: that there is a process, a time factor, an obedience factor and manifestation.

The Process

Again Joshua 1:8: “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night…”. Part of the meditation process is the Word has to stay in your mouth. Another definition for meditate is “to chew on”. For the word to not depart out of your mouth, you’ve got to keep chewing on it – like food. We’re not supposed to rush eating – we have to chew on the food so we can digest it properly. Meditating, or chewing on the word, is a process. That’s why we‘re to do it day and night. Some of us rush the process; if we don’t see a manifestation by tomorrow we’ll quit. Meditation is a daily process and we can’t rush it.

Meditation is not simply studying and reading the Bible every day or watching Christian TV. Some of us have a routine or ritual, and that’s good, but it’s not mediation. You can recite Genesis through Revelation in order and know all the stories… but how much of it do you believe? I’ll take a person who has revelation from one verse of scripture over someone who has memorized the whole Bible.

The Obedience Factor

Meditation is followed by obedience. When you get to the point where God has revealed something you, there will be an opportunity to obey an instruction. Obedience is always necessary for a manifestation to take place. “Well Dr. Pettis, I’ve been meditating on the Word for a while but I haven’t received an instruction yet.” You have to keep going. Whenever you get revelation, God is going to give you an instruction. I’ll give you an example:

In Matthew 9, a woman had an issue of blood for 12 years, spending all she had on doctors and didn’t get better but grew worse. In those times, those with her condition were prohibited from being in public, but she took a chance at physically retribution because she needed to see Jesus. I believe she meditated on the Old Testament scripture in Malachi 4:2 “But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings”. From here she received a revelation that Jesus would be her path to wholeness. The ‘wings’ are the tassels at the fringe of Jesus’ robe and “she had been saying to herself, ‘If I only touch His outer robe, I will be healed’” (Matt. 9:21 AMP). In obedience to what she heard and now believed through revelation, she touched his robe and she was immediately healed and made whole.

Manifestation

Manifestations don’t show up unannounced or without permission, but they come after there has been some revelation. You can’t get any revelation until you have first meditated. As you get revelation and apply what’s been revealed, the manifestation follows. Many times, we wonder why it seems God isn’t working on our behalf. There hasn’t been a manifestation because there hasn’t been a revelation and there hasn’t been any revelation because there’s been no meditation.

This is a daily process, not when you just come to church, living from Sunday to Sunday. It is to be consistently done on purpose.

It doesn’t make natural sense that you just chew on the Word, receive a revelation, follow the instruction and produce a manifestation. But you’ve got to trust the process. Be singularly focused on what you’re meditating on. You will have good success.

After you’ve mediated on these things, you’ll make your way. The way has already been made, but there’s a process for us to make it manifest in our lives. After you’ve mediated on healing, you’’ll make your way healthy. When I meditate on prosperity, you’ll make your way prosperous. Anything you want to change in your life can be found in Scripture – you must first find out what the Word says. When you’re seeking a manifestation, find verses of Scripture (2 or 3 witnesses so every word shall be established) and start meditating on them.

Revelation works above information, statistics, rules and regulations. Without revelation, we’re bound by these things. As a child of God, we need meditation to “make our way”.

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02 Sep
0

How long should engagements last?| Raising a child in a split family

How long should an engagement last?

Biblically, an engagement is when a husband finds a wife and they come into agreement to say, “this is the wife I am going to be a husband to” and vice versa. However, most people were not taught what being a wife or husband truly is. Before entering into an engagement, or even seeking a mate, the couple must already be a husband and wife, just as to apply for a position within a law firm you already have to be a lawyer. When you become engaged you are already ready to be married, not preparing for it. An engagement is the period of time that one takes to prepare for the wedding. Entering into an engagement is a husband and a wife coming together to be married and simply prepare for the wedding, which means it should only last the period of time it takes to plan and pay for the wedding. This period should not be preparing yourself to be married.

How do I raise a child in the Word of God when the other parent does not raise them in the same manner?

Unfortunately, this is a heavy consequence that arises when things are done out of order such as having children out of wedlock or marrying someone who is not equally yoked. These situations can be difficult, so clear discussions must be had between parents to prepare them and bring awareness to the possible struggles. However, this is not the end and all is not lost. Like all things, you pray and continue to trust and believe God while you stand on Scripture because this is your child and you have to protect them. Be sure to instill the Word of God in the child because there is power in the Word. In areas where the world pulls at your child, DO NOT BE LENIENT and afraid to be the “bad” parent. Stand strong on the Word of God and do not waiver.

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01 Sep
0

Feelings of rejection | How to tell if you’re in a faith fight

How do I deal with rejection and not succumb to the feeling of being “not enough”?

You have to change your perception and how you receive things from people. Second Corinthians 4:9 speaks of being “persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed”. Without saying it explicitly, this scripture speaks about perception. There are many ways to look at a situation – one can see a situation of losing a friend or partner as “I have been rejected” and another can see the same situation as “I now have a better opportunity to find someone better”.
If rejection is rooted within you, you can get used to being rejected and not even ask or expect things. Rejection is a choice and comes usually when self-esteem is low. Also, what some people say should not matter or hold a lot of weight to you.
Lastly, insecurities and issues should not be pushed under the rug or avoided. You have to be your own biggest supporter and the biggest critic. No one can cheer you on like yourself and no one can make you feel worse than you.

 

How can you tell if you are in a “faith fight” or if God is preventing something from coming your way?

When you are in faith fight, patience shows up when your faith is tried. Patience shows up so you can endure and not be moved by trials. If the trying of your faith stops you, you have to question if you were really in faith. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it is important to know where you are at. Count it all joy when your faith is tested (James 1: 2-8).

God will also let you know if this is Him intervening; ask God for wisdom. Remember the Bible says “there is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death” (Proverbs 14:12). God will direct your path. Don’t end up with an Ishmael and not an Isaac – remember, good or bad, God will allow what you allow.

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01 Sep
0

Why is it hard or challenging for some fathers to assume primary responsibility for their children?

Why is it hard or challenging for some fathers to assume primary responsibility for their children?

It is always assumed the mother is always the one who is primarily responsible for them.
It can depend on the structure of the house and family. Does the wife stay at home or do both parents work?
The husband’s outlook on the family can be based on how a man sees their own father and what part he played in their family. Even though the husband may have this outlook, that does not make it right. Make sure you talk and come to an understanding.
Keep in mind, when your husband or wife keeps the kids, this is not doing your spouse a favor. The children are both your responsibility.

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10 Aug
0

How does a man raise his children in the Word of God when their mother raises the children another way?

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10 Aug
0

In raising your kids, how do you draw the line between being a provider for them and teaching them to use God as their Source?

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